Yikes!

If You Have a Dog, You May Have Some Very Serious Mail Issues

My old friend Richard Silverstein is having problems.

I mean... problems.

See, he has this very adorable dog. He also has a mail carrier who apparently doesn't like dogs. So his mail carrier doesn't want to walk onto Richard's property to confront this dog -- who happens to be very gentle and mail-loving -- so he refused.

This was a denial of Richard's basic rights as an America citizen. He called up the post office and gave them a piece of his mind. He thinks that people scared of dogs shouldn't be mail carriers.

For more on the continuing saga, check Richard's blog here.

We Were Grapes

Just in time for Passover (well, actually, very in time for Passover) you can order yourself t-shirts, greeting cards, mousepads, hooded sweatshirts, BBQ aprons, and boxer shorts emblazoned with the cartoon at right.

I happen to find this cartoon funny.

See, on Passover, we sit around the Seder table and tell a story that begins, "עֲבָדִים הָיִינוּ" ("Avadim Hayinu") which means, "We were slaves to Pharaoah in Egypt."

But if you replace one of the letters in the word for "slaves," you get the word that means, "grapes." So, see, these raisins in the cartoon are sitting around and saying, "We were grapes." This is funny because it sounds like the real text but is a little different. It is also funny because raisins are made from grapes, so these raisins are remembering the fact that, in reality, they were once actually grapes.

As you can see, the hilarity is immense.

Anyway, if you want to buy something with the cartoon on it, click here.

In case you were wondering, the word raisin comes from the Latin racemes, which means a "cluster of grapes or berries." Raisins are mentioned six times in the Bible (with two separate words used to describe them). My favorite reference is Song of Songs 2:5: “Sustain me with raisin cakes, Refresh me with apples, For I am faint with love.”

Also, the California Dancing Raisins debuted 20 years ago. Also, raisins can cause acute renal failure in dogs, so don't let your dog have any unless you want a very sick puppy.

Blogging Along

Just wanted to give a heads up that I'm now (at least for this month on a "trial basis") a member of the team that publishes the new-ish blog New Reform Jew.

The One Where Josh Admits to Watching Friends

JOEY
Hey! You guys! You’re not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent… I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!

MONICA
Congratulations! Wow! I can’t believe you’re nominated for an Emmy!

JOEY
I’m up for a Soapie!

MONICA
Honey? Is that something you’re
making up?

JOEY
No, no, no! It’s real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! I’m up for a Soapie!

RACHEL
Oh my God! Oh my God!! That is like the third most prestigious soap opera award there is!

- from Friends, Season 7, episode 18 (but a bit shortened... for the whole scene click here)There's days when I feel like Joey Tribbiani.

Somebody nominated me for a "Jewish and Israel Blog Award."

I'm flattered, but it would be nice if someone could have told me in time for me to vote a whole bunch of times for myself before the polls close. As it happened, I stumbled across the site and noticed my blog listed under the Best Life-in-Israel Blog category.

So if you're so inclined, click here to vote for me. (I'm listed as "Josh. Israel. Blog.") It'd be nice to get more than the one vote I placed for myself. At the same time, since I'd never even heard of these awards, I don't think I'll be so disappointed if I lose.

While we're on the subject, here are some other voting recommendations:

In the category of "Best Overall Blog," you oughtta vote for jewschool.

In the category of "Best New Blog," vote for Chayyei Sarah (in the "B" pool).

In the category of "Best Post by a Jewish Blogger," vote for Avinu Malkenu, from Annabel Lee.

There are many others also worthy of your vote in these meaningless awards, but I'm left pondering whether they'll be having a televised awards show with Gary Shandling hosting... so I can't recommend anymore. (I wonder if I'll be invited to any of the post-award-show parties... Will Wolfgang Puck be cooking? Oh man... I don't have anything to wear. I need a tux.)

OK. Happy Voting.

See you on the red carpet.

(Note for Friends fans: In case you're worried, I promise I won't accept the award on anyone's behalf.)

L'shana tova tikatevu.

"I wanna glide down over Mulholland..."

I have a two-week break from school. I'm spending it in Los Angeles, mostly because I need to be present at a deposition, which takes place tomorrow (err... today).

Oh, the Valley. Home of "like", pornography, and Tom Petty songs. Land of 7-11s as far as the eye can see, of people who take up two parking spaces with their Hummer or Nissan Armada... just because they can.

It's weird being in the States for a lot of reasons, few of which have reached a point of clarity in my mind that's required for a lucid blog post. (As if lucidity were a requirement here. Heh.) Suffice it to say that cheddar cheese -- which is not available in Jerusalem -- is awesome, it's weird boiling water without a kumkum (or it's chupchik, which has a name that you can find out by calling the radio), and I forgot how much fun driving can be.

It's also weird to hear people saying, "Happy New Year!"

It so doesn't feel like a new year. It felt like a new year on the first of Tishrei, when all of Jerusalem was shut down and people heartfeltedly told people that they hoped they'd be written down for a good year. Now, it just seems empty. What the hell does "Happy New Year!" mean?

In this vein, I want to point you, dear reader, to this blog post, written by someone I don't know. It's beautiful. If only my prayer journal for Rachel could be anywhere near this good.

סליחה

More than a week ago, I posted an inflammatory piece on this blog. It's still available for you to read, but I'm considering taking it down. (So by the time you read this it may be gone.)

Since posting it, I've received lots of encouragement. I've also received lots of criticism. I'm especially grateful to Joel S., Joel N. and Rebecca S., who had the patience and maturity to tell me how they felt in a constructive way. They turned my way of seeing the school community upside down, and I'm eternally indebted.

I still believe in everything I said in that post:

• I believe that we need to do more than talk about feelings.
• I believe that we spend lots of time talking about feelings and not enough talking about real ideas.
• I believe that we ought not be telling our teachers and administrators how or what to teach. They know what they're doing.
• I believe we need to realize how much we don't know.
• I believe that spending a year living so far from home can be really hard for some of us, and that as a result, we all have a tendency to maintain our comfort levels and not venture out of them.
• I believe that if you're going to experience another culture you ought to experience it on its level.
• I believe Jewish women should, if they want to, be encouraged to wear tallit, t'fillen, and kippah. I believe that they shouldn't be stubborn about wearing them when visiting ultra-orthodox neighborhoods, unless they want to really make people upset.
• I believe that if a teacher is teaching under the assumption that you know something, then you probably ought to know it. It's probably not your fault that you don't know it, but it is your responsibility to learn.

I regret using immature language to make my point. I did it because I was extremely frustrated, and I wanted that frustration to be evident to my readers.

I regret hurting anyone's feelings. I have the utmost respect for my classmates. All of them. In writing that post, I used examples to illustrate my points that some people understood to be direct references to themselves. They were not. In one instance, three different people thought I was referring to them in one example. I really wasn't. I was making a point about all of us. I now realize I chose a largely ineffective way to do it.

I regret using negativity when I should have been more positive. I regret using foul language (though I really do Iove using foul language) when I could have been more civil in my choice of vocabulary.

I'm frustrated by the ad hominem attacks leveled against me, both in the comments to that post and in my email box. (One critic even compared me to Darth Vader.) I wish I knew how to respond to them. I realize they're upset, and I now realize why. I guess I should have been more prepared to receive the personal attacks when I posted something that incendiary.

Anyway, I'm not sure what to do with the original post. Any ideas are appreciated.

Update (10/24/04, 7:10 am): Text of the original post has been deleted.

The FAQ

1. Who are you and what is this blog?

My name is Josh Barkin, and I'm a student from Los Angeles, Calif. I'm spending the year studying in Jerusalem, Israel, and this is an online journal that details my experiences.

You can read my non-Israel blog here.

2. What are you doing in Israel?

I'm studying at Hebrew Union College's Jerusalem campus.

3. HUC?

I'm a graduate student at the Rhea Hirsch School of Education at Hebrew Union College - Jewish Institute of Religion. It's a three-year program, and the first year is in Jerusalem. Following this year, I'l be studying at HUC's Los Angeles campus.

4. Isn't Israel dangerous?

I guess it is. (That's not meant to be a flippant answer.)

Some things you might not know:

1. Israelis don't live an existence where they're constantly afraid. International media coverage of violence in Israel makes the place look much more dangerous than it really is.

2. Prior to leaving for grad school, I worked just south of downtown LA while living in the San Fernando Valley. My daily commute was 26 miles. Three days a week, I taught Hebrew school in San Pedro, 36 miles from my home.

   For those two years, I put myself at considerably more risk by driving on LA freeways than I do now by living in Jerusalem.

5. Will you be riding on buses?

No.

6. How do I get in touch with you?

Email is the best way. Click here to email me. Also, I have a Vonage phone which allows me to receive calls placed to my American phone number. If you'd like to call me, drop me an email and I'll give you my phone number.

If you have any other questions, post them in the comments.