This is a picture of the printing press at my office. It's a press that prints books. If I was better at taking pictures with my blackberry, you'd be able to see that right now, the press is printing my book.
It's called God: Jewish Choices for Struggling with the Ultimate. It's a book on theology for teenagers. I edited it and wrote all the educational pieces. A group of 17 other people wrote the rest of it.
And it will be out in a matter of days.
Requiem
When the last living thing
has died on account of us,
how poetical it would be
if Earth could say,
in a voice floating up
perhaps
from the floor
of the Grand Canyon,
"It is done."
People did not like it here.
- KV, 2005
Yesterday, I finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Sara and I waited in line on Friday night at midnight to get our copies. I didn't really stop reading once I started on Saturday. I just re-read Order of the Phoenix, and I'm glad I did... If you're planning on picking up HBP and you don't remember what happened in OotP, pick up the big blue book and do a refresher. You'll enjoy HBP all the more.
I read it so fast that I think I'm still processing it. Of course, the problem with reading it so quickly is that I have no one to talk to about it.
Anyway, following are my initial reactions. (SPOLER ALERT) If you haven't yet read the book and you don't want to know what happens, then don't click to continue.
A large portion of my group of friends here in Israel are devouring the Dan Brown books.
I can't blame them... I did the same thing (thanks to Jane's audiobook collection). He's a good suspense writer.
But I'm also a snob about academically understanding art and history, so Brown's willingness to play around with both (and to claim that his book is based on truth when he says things in it that are patently untrue) was a bit disturbing to me. I got over it, though. Since the books -- and here I'm mostly talking about DaVinci Code, because the other three are on a much lower pedestal -- were so good, I'm willing to let Brown have his bit of literary license.
Then I read this:
MILAN, Italy (Reuters) - The guide ushering tourists into the former monks' dining hall that houses Leonardo da Vinci's faded masterpiece "The Last Supper" tried in vain to interest her audience in art history, technique and aesthetics.She knew that sooner or later the questions -- about the Holy Grail's presence or absence from the work, or the real sex of the disciple to the right of Christ -- would come.
"Of course, you know there is now 'The Da Vinci Code'," Danish-born interpreter Hanne Munk told the guide at the end of her 15-minute viewing of the 30-foot-long painting, famed for its psychological realism and innovative use of perspective.
The guide, Lidia Sanvito, nodded wearily. The 34-year-old has heard of little else since U.S. author Dan Brown's runaway bestseller was published in March 2003, first from American readers, then starting late last year, from Italians and others as foreign translations hit bookstores worldwide.
"They torture me," she said of the curious visitors. "I wasn't surprised about the Americans. But it really did shock me that Italians, with their strong Catholic traditions, would also ask these questions."
This is a struggle for me.
On one hand, the article goes on to explain how the DaVinci Code has caused renewed interest in certain pieces of art and the museums that house them. I think that it's good to go to museums, I think people ought to go to them more, I think they're an important part of modern human societies and deserve to be well-funded and well-attended, and I have trouble being critical of anything -- including Brown's book -- if it gets people in the doors of the Louvre.
On the other hand, it deeply saddens me that Brown has reduced Leonardo's (to call him Da Vinci is incorrect) work to ridiculous levels. The very idea makes me want to vomit: These people are lucky enough to be standing in front of one of the world's most incredible, beautiful, and important pieces of art. And all they can think about is a piece of trashy, poorly-researched (or at least sloppily assembled, academically speaking) dime-store fiction.
Following is a one act play I wrote on this very phenomenon.
TOURGUIDE: As you can see, the painting is quite remarkable for its use of perspective...TURDFACE AMERICAN TOURIST: Excuse me, can you tell me if that guy in the fresco is actually Mary Magdalene, the Holy Grail?
TOURGUIDE: Actually, it's not a fresco. And no, I can't speak to that, seeing as it's pretty clear that the figure you're pointing to is a man, not Mary Magdalene.
TURDFACE AMERICAN TOURIST: But Dan Brown said it was a fresco. And what about the inverted V? Doesn't that mean DaVinci is trying to drop hints about the sacred feminine?
TOURGUIDE: Frescos are pieces of art painted into layers of wet plaster. The Last Supper is not a fresco. And it's pretty clear to most art historians -- you know, people who study this stuff for a living and not from novels they bought at Barnes & Noble -- that the "v" you're talking about is just a consequence of Leonardo's work with perspective. And by the way, there's no one named "DaVinci." His name was Leonardo. Vinci was where he was from.
TURDFACE AMERICAN TOURIST: But, Dan Brown said...
JOSH, STANDING IN THE BACK, IN AWE OF THE BEAUTIFUL PAINTING: Goddamnit, fuckwad! You're standing in front of the motherfucking Last Supper, and your only point of reference to this painting -- the only reason it's important to you -- is the fucking DaVinci Code? I hate you. I bet you're one of those people who liked the ending of Angels & Demons.
-SCENE-
Thoughts?
Here at the publishing company I work for, we're thinking of writing a book called "Who Thinks of This Crap?"
We got four separate manuscripts today, all of them about animals. One is called "Duck Love: A Story of a Duck Whose Mate Is Killed By Predators." It's a children's book.
Who thinks of this crap?
We also got a suggestion for a book about Santa giving away a trophy in the summertime, and an elf who makes him a pair of sunglasses (so he can venture out of the North Pole, where, apparently, they don't have sun).
Seriously. Who thinks of this crap?
